Attachment Disorder Adoption issues
Attachment disorder comes from situations that occur before a child is three years old. If a child had too many caregivers, he may have failed to bond to any of them. Sometimes there was only one caregiver, but that person was neglectful or abusive. In other instances, a child's caregiver may have simply died or otherwise been unavailable, often through parental illness either mental or physical. Because of his past, a child cannot form normal attachments to his parents and others who love him.
Sometimes a loving family adopts a child without knowing her full history. She may have been in an orphanage where no one met her need for love and connection, or passed through a series of mediocre foster homes. Problems that arise in her teen years sometimes have a basis in those first three years of neglect and abuse when the attachment disorder first began.
A teen with attachment disorder often appears wary of others. He may be unable to show affection and resist any physical contact with others. He may be a "loner" who actively turns away from social interactions. He may be angry and hostile to family members, who try everything to "break through."
Parents often feel as if everything is their fault. They love their child, yet do not experience the joy of feeling loved in return. Sometimes a child with attachment disorder is deliberately destructive to her family's happiness.
Therapeutic boarding schools can help teens with attachment disorders and their families. With an intense 24-hour intervention of therapy, medication and education, a teen with attachment disorder can improve. Education about the disorder is usually helpful for parents too.
PROS
Many boarding schools offer specialized programs for children with attachment disorders. For example, caring for a special animal on a daily basis often helps them become more open to giving and receiving love. Some adopted teens, usually girls, benefit from searching for their biological parents.
Children with attachment disorders benefit from professional help. They are more likely to learn how to form healthy relationships within a therapeutic setting. Outpatient treatment is often inadequate.
CONS
Parents worry that sending a child to boarding school may feel like one more rejection to him. Make sure that your teen understands the reasons for this choice and stay involved in their lives through family programs at the school.
